Notes I have written to my kiddos every school day for past four years

The $100 Unread Note…

Notes I have written to my kiddos every school day for past four years
Which one has the $100 offer? Hmm….

Happy Saturday Folks! Hope everyone is ready for a terrific day. I woke up sometime in the middle of the night thinking today was Sunday and so I was elated when I realized it was Saturday—a good surprise. Today…I am going to dive into consistency and how that is key to ANY impact that you want to have on yourself or others.

Yesterday marked the end of the school year for Liya and Luke. There is something magical about the last day of school when you are a kid and I just love that energy. They both had such great years and I am so proud of their grades and I am especially proud of the comments from their teachers. It’s clear that our kiddos “understood the assignment” and the proof is in their grades and the kind, heartfelt notes from their teachers about their behavior and how they treat their classmates and teachers.

Back in the summer of 2022 when Liya finished 3rd grade and Luke finished Kindergarten I wrote about the notes I leave in their lunch boxes each school day. Here we are in 2025 and I am still at it. Writing notes, putting them in the boxes, and then keeping them. As you can see in the picture, that’s four years worth of notes. Between the two kiddos, there has to be close to 1000 notes. 

One day in January it became apparent that at least one of the kids, who shall remain nameless, was not reading the notes. I had written a note that said “if you come home and tell me you read this note I will give you $100.” I got home from work expecting the unnamed kiddo to run up to me to collect their $100. Instead, nothing. The next morning I opened up their lunchbox, took out the note, and put it with the others I have saved. For just a moment I wondered if the time had come to just stop. I mean…if they are not reading them then why write them?

Well…as I do with most of the important considerations I have in life, I process and think about the “big stuff” on my daily runs. As Luna and I were running around the neighborhood the next chilly January morning, I thought about those notes and what I was really trying to achieve with those. Was it that they read them all? Or…something else? And that got me thinking about why I run everyday. Is that because I am trying to be an olympian? Or…is it something else?

As I was listening to the footstep pattern that Luna and I were creating in the silence of the morning, the answer popped out to me. Writing notes to the kids was not about them reading the notes, but rather knowing that if they needed a lift to brighten their day in a tough moment that the note was there for them to rely on–maybe even comfort them. Running with Luna was not about trying to be an olympian (and let’s face it I am too old and slow for those dreams), but rather the relationship I am trying to create with her and the comfort in knowing she and I have that time together each day. She can count on me. They can count on me.

When you are a parent—of kids or pets–you have good days and bad days. Great moments and moments that make you cringe. I’ve found, though, that when you deliver a consistent, kind, positive message every single day regardless of whether it is heard or read, that the consistency sticks. As a runner, stacking the days builds a base of fitness that can carry you through a bad running day. As a parent, all of the kind, positive, uplifting notes and comments can offset a bad moment that you wish you could take back–we all have those moments. It’s like the “goodwill bucket theory”. You have a goodwill bucket with everyone and you need to fill it up daily with good because when you have a bad moment it takes some of the goodwill out of that bucket. Fill that bucket daily or it will be empty and if it’s empty it is WAY harder to recover from a rough moment.

So…do I care anymore if the kiddos read the notes I write? No. They are there if they need them and that is what is important. When they need a lift, the notes are there. But…maybe I’ll drop another one of those $100 offers in one next fall to see what happens. 

Happy Saturday to you! Get out there, make someone’s day, lace ’em up, and go for a run!

Running Partners: The Luna Chapter

5:40am Alarm. Dark outside. Dead of winter. COLD! 20 degrees outside with some flurries. The warm bed calls me to stay as the desire to run tugs on me to lace up the shoes. The bed is winning until I think about my running partners–especially my new one.

Over the years my favorite times as a runner have come when I’ve had other runners in my life to pound the pavement with each day. There is just something powerful about meeting up with others and lacing up the shoes and hitting the roads or trails for a few miles. Running partners are a built in accountability that has often times over the years given that extra tug on the rope to get me out of bed–especially on dark, cold mornings. Not wanting to let your running friends down can be powerful motivation. And…the jokes, the camaraderie and conversations–sometimes deep ones are well worth getting up for. Running is just better when you share it with others and makes it easier when you battle the cold, rain, snow, sleet, heat, hills, and all life throws at you.

Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to run with so many people. I could write a book and have a chapter dedicated to all of them. My high school cross country team, the guys at Campbellsivlle, Rob at Georgia, the Walk/Jog/Run Club at Sonoma, the Empire Runners Club of Santa Rosa, and the #SkillmanPack, of course. I could fill every chapter with humorous stories and wild tales. And…definitely I’ve changed over the years and a great deal of what has made me a better person has come from advice and tips I’ve learned from everyone I’ve run with–especially my kids.

Luna and Josh smiling for a post-run photo.

With all that said, my newest running partner is unlike ANY of the runners that came before her–mainly because she has four legs and speaks dog instead of human. Also, she has revived my running career and ushered in a new era that promises to continue for many years to come.

You see, when Luna came into our lives as a puppy in the summer of 2023 I was a bit broken–physically. My right achilles was still sore and had been since 2021. My left hip, which had given me problems since 2022, was also causing me issues when I ran. Honestly, I was frustrated and at the time believed my running days were OVER. I needed a hard reset and the arrival of Luna as a puppy provided just that.

I traded in runs for early morning potty breaks and teaching Luna how to walk on a leash. We were crate training her at night, mainly so she would not get into anything she was no supposed to, and I slept on the floor next to her crate every night for about the first two months she was with us. I know people thought I was crazy, but she really would stay in that crate and sleep if I was right next to her on the floor. Slowly, I moved to the couch and then eventually back to the bed. However…after a few months our girl Luna was a champ in her crate, was potty trained, and we were sleeping through the night! Also, through training and training school at the Holiday Barn, Luna (and our family) were all trained on how to best walk her and use commands to manage her behavior. She’s so smart–smartest dog I’ve known–and she caught on quick.

One of the reasons we wanted Luna was because her breed, the Portuguese Water Dogs, are active. Sure, they love to swim and she’s great at it, but they also love to be active and to run. About the time she turned a year old (June 2024), my body was feeling pretty good after a year off of running and I thought “hey, maybe now that Luna is a year old she can run with me.” We went out and tested her for a mile or so and went really slow. She responded well. Then…we built up to 2 miles and then to 3 and before I knew it she wanted to go all the time. I even bought a special leash that clips around my waist and has some give to it so she can run right beside me and have a couple feel of clearance. If you see us in the neighborhood running, I think we’re a hoot!

Fast forward to April 2025 and my new running partner Luna is the best. We run three miles or so a day around 6am, every day of the week for the most part. We’ve run 84+ miles six months in a row and our goal is to hit 1000 miles this year by being consistent. What has been different about me being able to run consistently now versus the time between 2021 and 2024? It’s her. Luna was the perfect partner at the right time for me. I was worried about running her too fast and too far, and so that caused me to start slow and build miles slowly. Also…I had to train her to run without pulling and tugging, and that took some intentional coaching and being slow and patient. Finally, we’ve found a nice groove and pace and because I went almost three years without being able to consistently train, I am not at all worried about pace or distance. It’s 3 miles/day, everyday, at a 8:45-9:15/mile pace. That’s it. No more trying to run marathons under 3 hours or trying to train at a 7:00/mile pace. My body cannot hold up to that anymore, but my mind and body still crave that runners high and the three miles/day does it for me.

On the second mile of every run (and we run the same path everyday), I sing a little song to her that is set to the sone “Just The Two of Us” by Bill Withers and Grover Washington Jr. and I added a little remix to it. And…if I don’t start singing at the exact same point in our run everyday she starts whining at me. Maybe I’ll record it one day and play it. After all, I once won a one person singing contest where I was the judge–it was big time.

Well…those are my thoughts for today and my first blog post in several years. As the world around us spins a little differently these days, I thought a return to blogging may provide a little normalcy and comfort in the spin. Enjoy your day, lace up those shoes, don’t let your running partners down, and SING!

“Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two of us. Luna and I. Just the two of us. Running miles to get that high. Just the two of us. Luna and I…”

Wrong Direction or Different Opportunity?

Don’t have time to read? Listen to the audio version. It’s the extended version with a special guest who was eating Cheetos!

Good day! I hope you are doing awesome. Had a nice run this morning! I finished June with 51.3 miles run for the month! After not running but a few steps in January, February, March and only a couple runs in April and May, I’ll take it. All those months ago when my physical therapist said my running days were over I just knew it wasn’t true. Maybe I am not running as fast or as far, but I am a running. Glad to be back after it and to be running fairly comfortably.

Sometimes when you run, you get lost. No joke. There is a point on any new run, for example, when you could still turn around when you realize you do not know where you are going next and find your way back, but sometimes you just do not turn around. Why? Because (and I am guilty of this for sure) you just “know” you’re going the wrong direction but you also believe you “know” it will still be alright because in your gut you just “know” you’re good with directions. However, you end up being so far off course you cannot get back to your home or your car or hotel, etc and you are in serious trouble. I’ve been there. My most infamous time getting lost while on a run was at Disney on a trip with my family in August of 1994. I am not sure they’d even remember it and/or if I told them the exact details. We were on this before school started trip and one morning I turned a 3 mile run into a 10 mile run on the Disney properties (not in the parks). Not only did I get lost and turn a 20 minute run into an hour and twenty minute run, but I had to use the restroom so bad that I hid in some woods off the main resort roads to do so. And…I never made it back to the hotel on foot. I had to flag down one of the Disney busses to allow a stinky, sweaty mess of a person on board the bus to get back to the hotel. Thankfully, the driver drove my sorry tail back. There was a point in that run when I could’ve listened to my other voice (the good one) and got back with three miles run, but I didn’t listen. And…that caused my family to wonder where I was and probably got our day off to a later than expected start. Sometimes, though, going the wrong way can provide a new, unexpected opportunity that has a good outcome. For instance, I once took the wrong turn in Annadel State Park out in Northern California (where I used to live) and found this trail that would go so high up into the foothills that you’d actually run above the morning fog. Talk about a view?!? You could see the sun and sky clearly as you ran on fog topped foothills and could not see below it. It looked like what I envision a heaven for runners to look like. It was beautiful. Sometimes the wrong direction isn’t bad, but rather a different opportunity. Just kind of depends on circumstances.

Running Through The Fog To Runner’s Heaven
Mighty Good IPA

The same can be said for life about going the wrong direction. A couple weeks back when my wife noticed all the yearbooks others kids from school were bringing home on the last day she said, “Josh, did you remember to order Liya and Luke’s? Can I see them?” As soon as I heard her say that, inside my head I was like “oh crap, I forgot.” We had a short conversation about it and I got some deserved feedback and before responding to the deserved feedback I noticed I had two directions to go. At that moment, I politely excused myself without making any comments, grabbed an IPA, and I walked outside to our deck. While I slowly sipped on a delightful IPA, I considered my options which I had nailed down to two directions: (1) apologize and try to make it right or (2) dig my heals in and cite all of things I remembered to do and how could you focus on just this one. After a couple minutes of reflection about going down the wrong road in the past and after a few healthy sips of the IPA I was drinking, I went back inside and said, “Sarah, I am sorry. It’s my fault. You asked me to order those and I screwed it up. Heck, I am even on the PTA and heard updates about it and got emails about it and I still screwed it up. How can I make it right? Sarah looked at me, smiled indicating I was headed down a good road, and Sarah gave me some ideas (kids make their own yearbook and you’re going to make it happen. I said “alright” in my best Matthew McConaughey voice and we were headed back in the right direction.

The kids’ yearbook projects may not have been the direction we were supposed to go, but doggone if it’s not provided us a different kind of opportunity to create a memoir to their school years, kindergarten and third grade. We found over a hundred photos from the year and have also been able to utilize all papers and artwork I refused to throw away–I’m a pack rat. The kids are having fun, we are learning even more about their year, and we found a way to find a different opportunity to memorialize their school years even though me not ordering the yearbooks took us in the wrong direction for a moment or two. Life is full of all kinds of moments where we have a chance to turn a mistake into something positive, and I was glad that happened in this situation. Some situations cannot be turned that way (or we choose not to turn them that way–goodness I have been guilty of that from time to time) and so it’s good when we can recognize an opportunity to make going the wrong direction into a new kind of opportunity.

Thank you for taking the time to read and/or listen to my blog post from today. You could have spent your time doing something else and I’m glad you spent it with me. If you’d like to interact, you leave leave a comment, comment on the Facebook link, send me an email at joshuadavidskillman@gmail.com or reach out to me on Twitter. Have an awesome day and remember it’s never to late to be great!

Dad School is BACK!

Don’t have time to read? Listen here with my SPECIAL GUESTS on audio only!

Hello! Had the best run today on the first of week of the #SkillmanPack Dad School 2022! Liya hopped on her bike, Myles and Luke jumped in the running stroller, and we tackled a 3 mile run that included an awesome trail by the library! I’ve missed running and having them alongside me on the runs and it’s GREAT to be back after it with them! Running is meant to be shared with others and runners are best in a pack!

So…what is Dad School anyway?!? Last year when we moved to the RVA I had the awesome opportunity to stay home with the kids to help them get connected to their new city, make friends, and get ready for school. We had a blast and we slowly started referring to it as “Dad School.” Dad School is at its very core a self-confidence and skill building experience. With Sarah’s input and guidance, I’ve created a summer curriculum filled with fun, sports, play, academic practice, a reading competition through our local library, chores, and experiential learning projects where the kids pick something they want to learn about and then we go research it at the library, read about it, visit it (if possible), and then create a presentation about it (through art). We also plan “Fun Friday’s” where we take Sarah on some type of RVA Adventure. All the time, we focus on building confidence and self worth through taking on a challenge, getting through it, and then receiving positive guidance and support from me along the way.

I spent many years (20+) in higher education and so we started off Dad School 2022 by having a meeting to create our expectations and hopes for the summer. We all discussed our expectations of each other and what we wanted to work on from a behavioral standpoint. We also set screen time goals and staying active goals. For hopes, we reviewed what we already have planned, what we hope to plan, and even left room for additional opportunities. We are starting with swim school, drama camp, a reading challenge, and creating a memory book from last school year to kick off our first two weeks. All those years of higher ed taught me you gotta get input, set some goals, allow for flexibility, and lay out how you expect people to act. We certainly have done that here at the #SkillmanPack Dad School.

When we left Indiana last summer, I had no idea what was next for me. I committed to allowing life to show me rather than just to jump to the next thing. Dad School has certainly been fun and in the last year I’ve enjoyed the experiences (Coaching at the YMCA, Volunteering at the school, etc) that have resulted in me being “Coach Ski”, “Luke’s Dad”, “Liya’s Dad”, “Cafeteria Dad”, and an active PTA member. It’s been awesome and this summer will be great and I’m thankful to be able to have a front row seat (with the opportunity to direct) as our kids move through this time of their lives.

Thank you for taking the time to read and/or listen to this blog post. You could’ve spent your time doing something else and I appreciate you spending some time with me. I welcome conversions with those who read or listen to this and you do so by commenting on this post, sending me a note at joshuadavidskillman@gmail.com or via Twitter. Have an awesome day! It’s never too late to be great!

One Note At A Time…

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Daily Notes

Good morning! Happy Wednesday to you! Or…as I like to call it 3’s Day! You know, yesterday was 2’s Dad (Tuesday) and today is 3’s Day! Ha Ha Ha. Now…that’s a Josh joke for you to start your day and fitting for the topic.

Tomorrow is the kids last day of school. Luke finishes Kindergarten and Liya will finish 3rd grade. It’s been a GREAT year at their new school and I could not be any more proud of them. Their teachers have been REMARKABLE and the school team there is “Awesome with a Capital A,” to steal a phrase from college basketball commentator Dick Vitale. I’ve been toying with a few ideas for this post and was torn between a couple, but then today I glanced in one of our cabinets and saw a stack of colorful notecards that contained notes I’ve written to the kiddos each school day and put in their lunch boxes to read during their lunch. When I saw those notes stacked up this morning, it gave me the spark for this post.

Leadership author John Maxwell once wrote “people tend to become what the most important people in their lives think that they’ll become.” I love that saying and it’s something that I’ve had posted up in my offices over the years or written down on post-it notes in various locations (running books, my vehicles, etc.). I love that quote because I have always really tried to offer something encouraging or positive to others to make their days better but more importantly to let them know that what they were doing mattered and that they were important. From my experience, when people believe you think that they can do something–especially if you are responsible for them or their work–then they will exceed your expectations a hundred times over. Not always. But…I would say 97.78 times out of 100 they will. 🙂

Now that both of our kids are in elementary school and they have both started trying to navigate their school worlds without us being there with them, we’ve tried to remind our kids daily of how much we believe in them. On the first day of school last September and as a surprise, we put notes in both the kids lunch boxes that told them something along the lines of “we love you and are proud of you.” When they came back home from their first day, they both came home excited about their day and they were so happy to have those notes. So…on the second day they got another note. And…then on the third, fourth, fifth, 150th…well you get the point. Suddenly…we’re at the end of the year and there are 100s of notes on colorful notecards that have communicated something positive to each kid to help build their confidence and self-value while they are away from us. If people truly do tend to become what the most important people in their lives think that they will become, then I love the amount of times our kids have read something positive about themselves.

As I think back over the year, the content of the notes took many twists and turns. When Liya was learning how to memorize and be tested on vocabulary words for the first time, I started to imbed the vocabulary words into the notes. It worked–seeing the words constantly and having to remember what they meant helped her make a lot A’s on those tests. Also, fitting the words together created humorous sentences that I am sure cracked her up at school. When Luke was tasked with learning his site words, those words started to be included on the notes each day. After a few weeks, Luke could identify all 70 something site words and he was so proud of himself. And…kids sometimes go through things with other kids and so some of the notes just reminded our kids that they were awesome, that they were believed in, and that things get better even when they think they will not. Also…I got to try out SO MANY JOSH JOKES on the kids. Like…”Hey Liya, this is the only Monday we’re going to have this week. There is not going to be second Monday this week so make this one count.” Or…Hey Luke, “Knock, Knock. Who’s there. Hello. Hello who? Hello Luke!” You get the picture. By the way, my jokes only win awards when there is an audience of one and I’m the judge. Ha, there’s another one. During basketball and football season, they had a TON of IU logos, Go Dawgs, and Go Colts in those notes. Our kids love America’s Got Talent so now the notes have references to AGT. For instance the hit song, “I always want more Parmesan but I’m embarrassed.” No matter what though, the notes always end with “love, Mom and Dad.” Our kids hear that from us everyday because that matters, and you never know what’ going to happen and I believe you don’t let a moment pass without telling someone how you feel.

When you are trying to run a marathon, it takes many miles run on many days to be able to do it. I’d also say, when you’re trying to build confidence in your kids or others around you it takes a plethora of positive moments (or notes in this case) to build that. In running, not every mile is great and in life not every moment with another person is great. But…if you can put enough good miles in then you can be a good runner and if you create enough positive themed moments with others then you can help positively impact the way another person feels about themself.

Thank you for taking the time to read and/or listen to my post. You could have spent this time doing something else and I appreciate you spending it with me. Feel free to engage with me by commenting on this post, sending me an email at joshuadavidskillman@gmail.com or on Twitter. Have a great day and never stop believing in yourself! It’s never too late to be great.

Comeback Road…

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Hello! I am a person who loves reading books and watching movies, and my favorite aspect of any book or movie is when the main character makes a comeback. It’s that moment after perhaps a major failure or disappointment that the main character decides to get back on the proverbial horse and make another go of it. At this very moment in time I am at that point of your favorite dramatic movie or book where the character has decided to get back on that horse, or in my case lace those running shoes back up and get after it once again.

I guess you could say that my current journey down comeback road is two parter…a comeback to running after six months battling achilles tendonitis and a comeback to blogging after a very long time away. You could also say, I suppose, that this this comeback has third part–helping me continue to define who I am personally and professionally after leaving my career in college housing a year ago to focus on our family and providing support and care for them in a more focused, purposeful way. I plan to focus on all those aspects of my life on this blog while at the same time sharing a solution based perspective on the national stories and politics of the moment here in America and perhaps beyond.

This particular running comeback started a couple weeks ago with a two mile walk-jog at a pace that did not cause me any pain in my right achilles for the first time since October 16, 2021. This is not my first comeback after a running injury and the best advice anyone has ever given me is that in order to start running again you need to return at a pace that is pain free. After that first walk-run attempt three weeks ago, I held my breath for the next 24 hours hoping that my achilles did not start to hurt while walking, walking up and down stairs, and just in general. I took the next day off, my achilles felt great, and then I completed another 3 mile walk-jog at a pain-free pace–or as I call it running under the pain. It worked, and now three weeks later I have been able to complete eleven walk-jog sessions pain free after not being able to run for six months. I’m excited, nervous, and cautiously optimistic that the momentum has shifted to being able to train again. And…I am not running at my typical pace and I have had to humble myself, but doggone it I love being out there running at ANY pace rather than sitting on the sidelines riding bike while other people run.

Running comebacks are a lot like life comebacks. Seriously. When we screw up in life–tank a relationship we did not want to tank, make a mistake at work we could not afford to make, become unnecessarily upset with our kids when they did not deserve it, etc.–it is frustrating, humbling, and the road to righting that wrong or getting back what you want always looks tough when you focus on the end and where you hope to be again. That long view can sometimes be so daunting that it causes a person to doubt they can ever recover or get back what they believe they have lost. Over the years running has taught me that any comeback begins with the first step and that first step (and the next few after) will be difficult and not free from setbacks. However, if you keep putting one foot in front of the other and you build that positive momentum, eventually you’ll get where you want to go (or at the very least away from where you do not want to be) and you’ll be better for it. I’ve never wanted to have a running setback or a life setback, but goodness has every comeback been sweet and helped me become even stronger than I was prior to whatever caused the need to travel down comeback road in the first place. Comeback road has made me stronger mentally, tougher physically, and helped me become a better person to those around me. It’s never easy and that journey can be difficult, but it’s always worth it.

Thank you for reading or listening to my first blog post on this site and I hope that you’ll continue on this journey with me–wherever it may take us. Feel free to engage with me either in the comments section or privately at joshuadavidskillman@gmail.com or @JoshSkillman on Twitter. Have a great day!

Running. Dad Life. Solutions.